My salvation began very late
I was given weed at the age of eight,
At the age of twelve it was cigarettes and beer.
At sixteen, cocaine was my teenage years.

Some would say I never had a chance,
My mind was ruined, and it was, at first glance.
My heart only wanted what hearts want most,
To fulfill its own desires, to provide for its host.

My twenties were spent, chasing men and then women.
For thirteen years I was dog, a demon.
My only desire was to get them to need me,
To get them to like me, to care for, and feed me.

Once I did that I didn’t need any more,
That was my purpose, its what I fought for.
I mean, love is the answer, what I forgot was the question,
You see, in all my quests, I always failed to mention;.

The whole time I was searching, for whatever I lost,
I knew of redemption but I knew it would cost,
It would mean giving up me, and surrendering to Him,
I worked hard to be me and hold on to my sin.

I began to smoke crack at the age of twenty-nine,
The devil of all drugs, it consumed all my time,
It started out slowly but soon became more,
Usual and normal, for those in a war.

I soon lost all hope, soon became a daily basis,
I needed the high, to make decisions, to face this.
This cruel hard world that cared nothing for me,
I learned a hard lesson; crack cocaine was all I’d be.

All the time I had spent to create the perfect me,
The perfect job, the perfect friend, the perfect person you see,
All the time I spent up till the day I smoked crack,
All meant nothing without Jesus, I know now, looking back.

The cost of salvation I thought was too great,
How could God forgive me? He was so far away.
How could He come down and reach where I was?
Surely this was a place He knew nothing of…

Let’s see, there was alcohol, there were drugs, and there was crack,
A homosexual lifestyle, could He forgive that?
There was me holding me and not wanting to let go.
There was me holding me and not wanting it to show.

The drugs were my refuge, a place I could hide,
But I always found me, I’ll be ok, I lied

I was living at a house with several other men,
They didn’t smoke crack, they did heroin.
One day sitting down I began to really see,
What my choices, my decisions were doing to me.

The crack would run out and I would always be wanting,
I saw my future right there, and it was actually quite haunting,
Defeated and broken I finally said no,
To the devil and his lies, I had to let go.

Something had to change; this was me at my worse,
My decisions had left me alone and accursed,
I got up from my seat and I walked out the door,
I knew in my mind, I didn’t want anymore.

Spent the night at a friends, the next day unknown,
But God had a plan with my life of His own,
Defeated, I cried, alone I said, “Lord,
I’m tired please help me, I can’t do no more.

I know of your gift, how you died on the cross,
And I’m ready to follow, I don’t care what it costs.”

He came that day, I knew in my heart,
I didn’t know how, but I got a fresh start,
He forgave me of all things, not some, not a few,
He took broken Sharon, and He made someone new.

The whole time I was out there, I was out doing crazy,
I knew of salvation, I knew Jesus could save me.

And now, many years later, I look back and I see,
Thank God for salvation, thank God He saved me.
I have new hope, new eyes, and new sight.
I have visions from Jesus and he taught me to write.

With confidence and certainty he has given me purpose,
And there is so much more, this is only the surface.

His gift of salvation is available to you,
To all who would seek Him, here’s what you do.
You open your heart, and you ask him to enter,
You make Him your all, your life, your center.

You give him your life, and He gives it right back.
You give Him your heart, your sin, your crack.
He’ll rebuild what was broken, and return what you loss,
He’ll forgive you your sins, that’s why He died on the cross.

My story was a miracle, that He would find time for me.
But I believe He did it so others could see;
God still saves…I am His confirmation,
Proof He can move in any situation.

I was tired of living what I now know was a lie.
Then I called Jesus and He came to my side.

Those who know me, see the changes, those who don’t, there’s my story,
I am thankful, I am grateful, and to God be the glory.

Written 1/17/06